"Twitter"- and "This one is for you, sir."

I really do put my life on the (time) line. I am not a real trollop but am a real cupcake. I tweet about the most mundane things that happen, walking the dog, the arrival of my delivery pizza. But I also tweet about the erotic, exotic, and down right filthy (have you seen the toilet pic tweets?). Also as some of you know, I spend a good deal of last summer in Haiti helping out the people there and I tweeted about that also. My twitter timeline is all encompassing of me, the real me, the tweeter known as Trollop_cupcake.
I have a handful of real life friends on twitter, some who you have seen @reply to me and hold full on conversations on our time line, but then I also have a few friends who do not go public with their friendship with me- mostly because they use their real names on their twitter accounts or think I am an absolute horror on twitter, idk and idc- we always have a laugh about things I have tweeted when we are together anyways. Also, the man who broke my heart, this past fall, still, from time to time peeps into my twitter to see what is going on in my life.
What I say in my stream is very real and that goes for the private conversations via DM as well. 
What kinds of DMs do I get?
I get a lot of DMs that:
Ask for naked pictures.
Ask for my phone number.
Try to get me to look at naked pictures.
Ask me for advice.
And then the usual DMs- just being chatty and friendly.
Do I send naked pictures of myself out? NO! But I have been known to send some pictures of me, well, naked but you can't see that I am naked- lets just say they are naughty and if you have had the pleasure of seeing those- consider yourself very lucky. So I guess, YES I DO.
Do I give my phone number out? Not usually. I have made some friends from twitter and they have become great real life friends but will I just pass you my digits? Depends on your game I guess.  
Do I want to see your naked picture? For the most part yes.
Will I give you advice? I fail miserably at romance, I cannot stay in a relationship to save my life, sure yup sure I will give you advice.
And that is the reason for this blog post actually (pats her back for a great segue).


Some advice.
This one is for you, sir. (this will mean nothing to anyone else)


I have given your situation much thought and as much as I am not a believer in 'cheating', my advice to you is to get a mistress. No, I am not being silly. I am being dead serious. You have a wonderful relationship which only lacks one thing- sex. And it is possibly a little more than sex that you are missing, you are missing the adventure, the physical connection, the intimacy of actually placing your cock inside the person you love. How unfortunate. But, how lucky you are to have a spouse that may possibly be open to the idea of a second partner or even an open marriage.
My thoughts on open marriage- they don't work. However, I could be completely wrong. I am neither mature enough or confident enough in myself to marry a person who would want other relationships outside of the marriage. I see being a swinger and having an open marriage as two different things. Swingers do it together, open marriages, the spouses do who they want. You need to tell your wife your needs and your possible solutions which are 
1. Fuck me, lots and give me lots of blow jobs. 
2. Open marriage
3. Mistress- side piece.
The only way solution #3 would work is if you could find a partner that truly can subscribe to FWB- someone with whom you can connect with on many levels, find attractive, have excellent chemistry but that also is seriously not looking for a relationship, is mature enough to handle a relationship that is purely sexual, and respects your time and privacy. This will prove very difficult to find as most women, will eventually 'catch feelings'- and it is okay to have feelings for your FWB/SIDE HONEY/MISTRESS, that is totally okay, even natural- but ground rules have to be established and most importantly trust. Ideally, you would find a women in a similar situation, totally in love with her spouse who just cannot fulfill her sexually.


Good luck to you, my friend. If you were only a few thousand miles closer.


Xoxo
The magically delicious
Trollop Cupcake