Thursday, March 31, 2011

Jeff, is that you?

I have 2 Jeffreys in my life- both go by the name Jeff. One is my cousin in San Jose, California and the other is a guy I date who I usually refer to as NB. My cousin Jeff is in my phone contacts as 'JEFF' and the Jeff that I date is in my phone contacts with his first and last name.

Sometime last year, before Christmas but after August (can't remember shit), I got a text message from a number that said "Hey, this is Jeff" followed by some pictures of random things- flowers, grassy knolls, tree or some shit, I don't really recall. I vaguely remember replying with 'Cuz, what are you doing' and received a reply saying something to the effect of being bored but was called 'ma'. See my cousin, Jeff, is one of those Asian B Boys from California who thinks he is XZIBIT- and has called me 'ma' or 'lil ma' since the late 90s.

So I assumed this text was from him.

It wasn't.

Since that text last year, I received a picture here and there and sent comments, all the while thinking my cousin is super bored out of his mind- bothering me with his photos.

Until just a few days ago- I actually engaged my 'cousin' in a short text conversation. I received a few pictures then asked my cousin about his job- which got a chuckle then 4 pictures of BOOK COVER ART. The text that followed were about selling his book on Amazon and ebooks and his new book. AND FROM WHAT I KNOW MY COUSIN IS NOT ALL THAT SMART (sorry cuz). So.... I was confused. The text continued until I decided to ask if this person was my cousin.

This was some crazy ass shit. Who the fuck was this guy? Was it my cousin just fucking with me? Had I met this dude, had his number and could not remember who the fuck he was? By this text message, I was convinced that I had met dude and just did not remember who the hell he was, so I decided to call him.

When I spoke with him- I was convinced we had met but that we just never made a connection and forgot who each other was. He sent me pictures. I have never met him. I sent him pictures- I will not share those with you. 

I talked on the phone with Jeff for about an hour- he in California and me here. Fucking strange. And what was even weirder was how much we had in common.

He is a published author- I plan on reading his books on the DL- and when he is in Dallas in a few months, he has offered to buy me a beer.

Weird, eh?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words or 3some Equals More Cuddles

Maybe one day I will get into graphic details of my first MMF 3some. I don't think there is much of the event that I will ever forget. It was an epic night and I was so happy to share this experience with a playmate that I will be loosing next month. It has always been hard for me to form attachments to people- I suppose this is why I make a terrible girlfriend. But I have been working on that flaw in my character. I make attempts to connect with people and stay connected. Soon my playmate will be moving out of state- not far- but surely too far to drive for a late night fuck. He has helped me crack my halo more than a few times. I appreciate him.  I will miss him. 

A little about the 3some.
My playmate answered the door in a costume and my guest playmate was inside looking very pretty- seriously he was pretty but naughty uber kinky too. 
There was a little drinking. A lot of ecstasy. Porn. Poker. Dancing. Music. Tortellini. And costume changes!!! I think we may have all gotten naked and dressed 4 or 5 times!!! Playmate wore my kitsune ears for a lot of the evening not even knowing he had them on- it was awesome.

There were a lot of heart rate cuddle and water breaks and everything seemed to roll very naturally (Well we were on drugs). On one hand you have my playmate who is rage/agro fucker, he is very into giving it if you know what I mean. And on the other hand you have guest playmate who told me 'I like to be close'- he was more touchy feely huggy lovey. There was a lot more one on one time with him as I think we were on the same 'petting' x vibe. Both called me 'dahlin'- and I fucking love that.

I may get ballsy and post a few sex pictures and write about the event in more detail at a later date. But for now her is a very sweet picture which encompasses the feeling of the entire event. Playmate offered guest playmate the guest bedroom but I wanted him with us. I have never felt more comfortable going to bed than when I was in the arms of two men. Us getting ready for bed. 

Friday, March 11, 2011

I love PvP and will be rollin on X tonight.

Had to post this picture before I head off to see my attorney. I am not in trouble or anything, no worries- just arbitration.

Anyways- epic night planned. Deets to follow.

Here is a little pic of one Level 21 Cleric in Rift. Wes introduced me to the world or war fronts on Rift and I am super hooked. Took the cleric out to the war front today for a test drive. Black gardens levels 20-29. My girl did not do to shabby.

Friday, March 4, 2011

My addiction to Rift grows and my relationship status to NB may be suffering.

OK lets face it. If one had to categorize my relationship with NB (Not my Boyfriend), one would categorize him as a 'Boyfriend'- although he isn't as I have not made that determination. But I speak to him every day- see him a few times a week and on most weekends, I am his date. We cuddle, we hold hands, we cook for each other- on the surface it is all very 'couply'.

I date other people.

I have never asked. But he does.

We don't talk about it.

I like NB very much. He reminds me of a guy I used to date a couple of years ago. Our relationship reminds me of that guy I used to date a few years ago. Both epic guys, great sense of humor, pleasant personalities, driven, caring, loving- but lacking a little bit in the two things I desire most in a long term partner- Alpha #Tigersblood and sexual prowess.

Sadly, even though I date NB on the regular, I enjoy sex with someone else I am seeing far more. This has become a slippery slope for me as I want to have sex with NB less and less as time goes on. Knowing what awesome chemistry I can have with someone else- that chemistry, where sparks fly and angels sing and shit. But there is no substance there- it is just sex, really.

Story of my life I think...
On paper, picture perfect dude, loves me regardless of my faults, willing to welcome me into his life regardless of my baggage and I enjoy sex with someone else who isn't at all good for me. On one hand a guy worthy of being the father of my future children and on the other hand, guy(s) I will most likely have to bail out of jail, will set my belongings on fire, but can give me the most awesome orgasms ever.

What to do, what to do.
So like any responsible adult who has had her share of heartaches.
I do nothing.
And just let things happen.

But... I also think my current obsession with the video game Rift- has started to affect my relationship with NB. I have been late to meeting him because I was playing Rift. I have been with him and wanted to go home to play Rift. I have been on the phone with him and zone out in our conversations because I was thinking of Rift. Problem much? I think so.

I have been spoiled in this relationship, very spoiled. NB is aware that I bore easy and get distracted by all things shiny but I can tell from his tone that I am losing favor. And I don't know how much I care.

I fail miserably at relationship.

I think I just rage quit this blog post.