OK lets face it. If one had to categorize my relationship with NB (Not my Boyfriend), one would categorize him as a 'Boyfriend'- although he isn't as I have not made that determination. But I speak to him every day- see him a few times a week and on most weekends, I am his date. We cuddle, we hold hands, we cook for each other- on the surface it is all very 'couply'.
I date other people.
I have never asked. But he does.
We don't talk about it.
I like NB very much. He reminds me of a guy I used to date a couple of years ago. Our relationship reminds me of that guy I used to date a few years ago. Both epic guys, great sense of humor, pleasant personalities, driven, caring, loving- but lacking a little bit in the two things I desire most in a long term partner- Alpha #Tigersblood and sexual prowess.
Sadly, even though I date NB on the regular, I enjoy sex with someone else I am seeing far more. This has become a slippery slope for me as I want to have sex with NB less and less as time goes on. Knowing what awesome chemistry I can have with someone else- that chemistry, where sparks fly and angels sing and shit. But there is no substance there- it is just sex, really.
Story of my life I think...
On paper, picture perfect dude, loves me regardless of my faults, willing to welcome me into his life regardless of my baggage and I enjoy sex with someone else who isn't at all good for me. On one hand a guy worthy of being the father of my future children and on the other hand, guy(s) I will most likely have to bail out of jail, will set my belongings on fire, but can give me the most awesome orgasms ever.
What to do, what to do.
So like any responsible adult who has had her share of heartaches.
I do nothing.
And just let things happen.
But... I also think my current obsession with the video game Rift- has started to affect my relationship with NB. I have been late to meeting him because I was playing Rift. I have been with him and wanted to go home to play Rift. I have been on the phone with him and zone out in our conversations because I was thinking of Rift. Problem much? I think so.
I have been spoiled in this relationship, very spoiled. NB is aware that I bore easy and get distracted by all things shiny but I can tell from his tone that I am losing favor. And I don't know how much I care.
I fail miserably at relationship.
Thankfully I AM AT A POINT IN MY LIFE THAT I DON'T WANT ONE.
I think I just rage quit this blog post.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Hahhahaa gawdd y'r hilarious. You go woman!! xoxo
If you want an outside opinion here, from someone who's looking for distractions at work, here it is:
Any guy who is that perfect for you, isn't going to suck in bed. Why? Because if someone really cares about you, they're going to want to make it good for you as much as it is for them.
And regardless of how good an actress you might think you are, any guy who's really in tune with you can spot a fake orgasm a mile away. If that's not the case, it may be that you just have to keep looking.
I'd also say that the right guy isn't going to be the type who is all 'Meh' about you seeing other people. It sounds like you may be dating someone who is just too vanilla on one hand and someone who's been snorting too much tiger's blood on the other.
This is where the phrase happy medium comes into play.
Lastly. You're a gamer girl. That's a problem? Pff. If you're a guy and a gamer, you have a problem.
If you're a girl and you're a gamer and worried about the impact that will have on future relationships, you know what the answer is? Find a gamer guy. There's like a billion of us and only like a thousand of you (900 of which only got into games because their -husband- sucked them in), so the odds are pretty hardcore in your favor here, lol.
Thanks Cedge.
Few things you would know if you had read any post before this is that:
I am still nursing wounds from a heart ache.
I am not ready for a relationship.
I am not looking for perfection.
And I have not faked an orgasm since my mid twenties.
Also regardless of how much someone would try to satisfy me in bed- well, I am rather kinky and sometimes effort really counts for nothing.
I do realize I am dating polarities and reasoning is justified. I don't want to fall in love again for a very long time.
I am the happy medium and when I am ready, when the stars a line, clouds part and unicorns gallop through glittered mist- I will welcome love and a relationship back into my life.
Until then, I will just continue to enjoy myself.
Well the first thing I should disclaim is that perfect: there is no such thing. I use the term relatively speaking. Perfect for you, might be closer to the mark.
And yes, admittedly I'm definitely coming in at the middle of a conversation here. I can count the number of blogs I've read on a hand or two.
As for kinks. That's a touchy area, right? One person's definition of kinky and another's can be extremely different. Plenty of guys have those dark hidden kinky sides that they never truly tap into because 9 of 10 girls would laugh or run away screaming.
Louis CK had a joke routine about some girl he was dating with who kept saying 'No no' and then asked him why he didn't persist, because she secretly wanted him to be forceful. His response: That's not something you guess at, at the off chance that a girl will like it lol. You gotta know that stuff going in.
So yeah, it's not as exhilarating when you have to spell things out for your partner. But if your thing is you like being tied up or tied up, etc.. Well as a guy it's better to have a general set of guidelines in that department rather than just going in guessing only to find yourself in front of a jury saying 'Your honor, In all fairness, I thought she'd like it!' Heh
Ack.. redundancy at the end there. 'tied up or choked'* etc
I am one of those women who has no time for bullshit so...
I lay it all out there on the table. Seriously.
1.It is very clear I am not looking for a relationship that includes exclusivity.
2.I explain my kink in detail- most guys/gals including parameters.
Oh you do? *Taps chin ponderously.* Well now I'm curious
On a side note...
I'm not sure many people in the world would stop and say 'No, please go on, I have plenty of time for bullshit.'
(Of course, one could make the argument that if you have time to maintain a blog and derp around on twitter, you do have time for bullshit. Haha, but that's a story for another time.)
Allow me to clarify.
I do not have time for relationship bullshit.
I have lots of time for other bullshit. In fact, I love bullshit.
In relations with male or female suitors, I do not have time for anything other than directness.
xoxo
Post a Comment